i've been on hold, waiting and wondering. testing the waters occasionally but each little step forward proved to be a no-go.
the deal is that i am trying to emerge from an overdose... a photographic/deadline/hell-hole of my own making.
it appears that the photography chairman's award contest at work, combined with photo hunt word of the day on facebook, and texture tuesday, and beyond layers, and my own projects such as self portrait every day, put me over the acceptable levels of photography projects with due dates and/or deadlines.
i don't know exactly what happened, or even when it happened, but i lost the light for a bit over these past few months.
i haven't figured out exactly how to go forward. i miss posting stuff. i keep shooting and trying new stuff, with cameras and software etc. but i am not sure i can trust myself to know my own boundaries yet. i resist posting - on blogs, facebook, flickr, instagram - because i tend towards the all-or-nothing kind of mindset.
so i am letting go of a few things, lightening up on some others and looking for a better balance. i need some down time.
work is and has always been way too intense. part of the lure of the photographic/deadline/hell-hole of my own making that i found myself in was an attempt to balance out the insanity of work with intensity of play. and that actually worked for a couple of years, adding a whole lot of happiness to my life. and then something went wrong.
work is still way too crazy. i am working hard at letting go of some of that 'crazy' because i recognize that lots of that is self inflicted too, and there is a way to work smarter, not harder. (and truthfully, if my little plan for that doesn't work, at least i will get the '...not harder' part of the deal. which at this point, is good enough for me).
the play, on the other hand, is still a bit of mystery. not sure yet how to recognize 'too much.'
so i start with a post here, a finished assignment there and hope it feeds me that right amount of inspiration to bring me back from the edge of crazy.
awwww little blog, and little world of shooting-every-minute-all-for-the-fun-of-it, how i have missed you!!
yes, august just might be the month :)
