i thought i lost you

i lost access to my blog

it was a nightmare of trying different emails and passwords and omg all kinds of techno stuff that, 

not only do i stink at, i have zero interest in. 

i never bother to understand the behind-the-scenes workings of the internet.  

or my computer... camera... car.. cell phone..stove .....

i just want them to continue on as they did before

my brain can't retain things - too much already in there

please, blogger dashboard, don't go away again.  

i missed you terribly 

i missed me terribly

glad we are back together :)

january 2015 calendar

here is the desktop calendar for january :)

i do love snow and we have yet to see any 

so this image is a favorite from last year. 

to set as your desktop calendar, 

click on the image, 

then right click.  

from the drop down menu, select "set as desktop background" 

Happy New Year!

goodwill to all :)

hope your day is filled with blessings,   

hope your heart is filled with love 

merry Christmas to you and yours!

traditions :)

traditions begin without knowing...

they start out little, not knowing they are destined to hold that big spot in our hearts that we call 'traditions'

you can't create them, you can only recognize them

yesterday, joey and i realized we have created some new Christmas traditions.

it was a lovely moment, recognizing that history still happens 

after years - thirty-plus together and many more, prior to 'us' -  

christmas eve meant big family gatherings, hors d'ouevres, laughter, noise, presents, love and tight schedules

we tried to keep that going after 2008 but it never fell into place like we'd all hoped

let go, marie

move forward, marie :)

softly, i heard it at first

but it's louder now

almost a scream :)

so together, joey and i, we will make a special christmas eve dinner

we will set the table (big deal!)

and then we will relax 

together

we've done this since 2010 but it never seemed like a tradition before

it seemed like the absence of one...

but i realize in the wisdom of my old age, my 60's (lol),

this is what we do on Christmas Eve 

and we love it

it is us, it is special 

and it is tradition 

merry Christmas eve to us all, 

hope your day is filled with something special, 

and may we all recognize 'special' when we see it

joy to the world

almost...

new decade in my life...

new family dynamic...

new traditions, new home, new surroundings...

missing the old ways, my family, the different milestones that marked the journey to Christmas...

this year has been one marked by moving forward, leaving the past behind.  in so many ways.

some days, i shook off yesterday like a madman

other days, i believe i clung

christmas is no different

so as the year closes in on it's last day, 

i am going to let the past surround me 

and then, 

one more time,

 i will let go.  

i will cross the bridge to 2015, 

to the silver sixties, to the second wind in my life 

with a big let go.  

some will see the change in me, some will never know

i am almost there

a l m o s t . . .

holiday spirit

memories of holidays never included the ocean before.  

it is a beautiful place to spend december.  

but it does not yet feel like Christmas. 

so much of holidays past were driven by retail photography craziness, 

along with frantic rushing to shop in whatever few minutes i could find.  

now, we don't buy presents for each other nor do we work.  

our family is pretty far away.  

it has not felt holiday-ish yet...

so we find Christmas where we can and create new memories and traditions.   

and we consciously count our blessings

we are together.

we are happy and healthy and stress-free. 

 we have Christmas right here on cape cod

 it is our place, 

a link in its own way to our past and and to our future.

turns out, the Christmas spirit IS everywhere

softly changing...

i saw a post on facebook where, 

if you put milk in a saucer, add a few drops of food coloring and then a few drops of dish soap, 

beautifully abstract changes would take place as the soap displaced the colors.  

i think it was meant as a child's experiment 

but it looked fascinating so i tried it.

 

 

 

the changes were sometimes dramatic and other times, subtle

 

the saucer became a tiny world 

of fantasy and movement and dancing colors

 

a little saucer of art and magic :)