goodwill to all :)

hope your day is filled with blessings,   

hope your heart is filled with love 

merry Christmas to you and yours!

traditions :)

traditions begin without knowing...

they start out little, not knowing they are destined to hold that big spot in our hearts that we call 'traditions'

you can't create them, you can only recognize them

yesterday, joey and i realized we have created some new Christmas traditions.

it was a lovely moment, recognizing that history still happens 

after years - thirty-plus together and many more, prior to 'us' -  

christmas eve meant big family gatherings, hors d'ouevres, laughter, noise, presents, love and tight schedules

we tried to keep that going after 2008 but it never fell into place like we'd all hoped

let go, marie

move forward, marie :)

softly, i heard it at first

but it's louder now

almost a scream :)

so together, joey and i, we will make a special christmas eve dinner

we will set the table (big deal!)

and then we will relax 

together

we've done this since 2010 but it never seemed like a tradition before

it seemed like the absence of one...

but i realize in the wisdom of my old age, my 60's (lol),

this is what we do on Christmas Eve 

and we love it

it is us, it is special 

and it is tradition 

merry Christmas eve to us all, 

hope your day is filled with something special, 

and may we all recognize 'special' when we see it

joy to the world

almost...

new decade in my life...

new family dynamic...

new traditions, new home, new surroundings...

missing the old ways, my family, the different milestones that marked the journey to Christmas...

this year has been one marked by moving forward, leaving the past behind.  in so many ways.

some days, i shook off yesterday like a madman

other days, i believe i clung

christmas is no different

so as the year closes in on it's last day, 

i am going to let the past surround me 

and then, 

one more time,

 i will let go.  

i will cross the bridge to 2015, 

to the silver sixties, to the second wind in my life 

with a big let go.  

some will see the change in me, some will never know

i am almost there

a l m o s t . . .

holiday spirit

memories of holidays never included the ocean before.  

it is a beautiful place to spend december.  

but it does not yet feel like Christmas. 

so much of holidays past were driven by retail photography craziness, 

along with frantic rushing to shop in whatever few minutes i could find.  

now, we don't buy presents for each other nor do we work.  

our family is pretty far away.  

it has not felt holiday-ish yet...

so we find Christmas where we can and create new memories and traditions.   

and we consciously count our blessings

we are together.

we are happy and healthy and stress-free. 

 we have Christmas right here on cape cod

 it is our place, 

a link in its own way to our past and and to our future.

turns out, the Christmas spirit IS everywhere

softly changing...

i saw a post on facebook where, 

if you put milk in a saucer, add a few drops of food coloring and then a few drops of dish soap, 

beautifully abstract changes would take place as the soap displaced the colors.  

i think it was meant as a child's experiment 

but it looked fascinating so i tried it.

 

 

 

the changes were sometimes dramatic and other times, subtle

 

the saucer became a tiny world 

of fantasy and movement and dancing colors

 

a little saucer of art and magic :)

awareness

some days, i just wait.

i do stuff, i move around, i take rides 

but i know i am waiting.

for inspiration...

for a moment that turns the day from mundane to meaningful.

i am not always patient.  

but if i stay engaged and aware, 

i am always rewarded.

tequila sunset...

in my mind, retirement was always synonymous with freedom

once i didn't have to work, or worry about work, i would be free to do whatever i felt like doing.

and so far, that's been true.

however, now that i am almost 2 years into it, i have developed a problem with staying engaged and active and interested in all the possibilities. 

so, in an effort to keep my butt off the couch, i put my butt in the driver's seat 

and went for a sunset picture ride yesterday.

i was actually looking to return to the amazing magical feeling of last winter 

when the snowy owls kept me actively engaged for months on end.  

instead of snowy owls, i found an empty tequila bottle.

it was left on the barrier wall on the edge of the beach parking lot. 

at first, i was annoyed that someone left their litter behind.  

and then i realized it was a very cool looking bottle.

and that it might look good if i shot it where it was 

but from a low angle so the sunset was behind it. 

and it did. 

i was happy, it was a special moment

 and when i got home and looked at the image, i smiled

a pretty picture always makes me smile. 

this morning, however, as i looked at this image, i saw more than just a pretty picture.

i saw a way to look at this stage in my life.  

the sunset years

i can be annoyed at other people's impact on me and my environment.  

or i can see it as an opportunity to see things i may not have seen.  

this beautiful bottle, on the ledge, in the golden glow of sunset - i would never have seen this if not for someone else.  

i can sit at home, on my warm couch, with my husband (who begged me to stay home).  

or i can go see what i can see.  

to wander and ponder at will, no schedule, has been a lifelong quest of mine.  

to sit on my warm couch has not been a lifelong quest.  

i need to leave the comfort zone. 

now today this minute. 

wander then ponder.  but don't neglect the wander.

and then tequlia.

 the wild stuff.  

i need to cultivate some wild stuff.  

warm couches, cozy fires and comfort food are all wonderful and i am lucky to have that.  

but i need to cultivate some wildness to make the golden years a growing stage of life.  

i do not want to slow down or lay low.  

i want to expand and grow and glow like a tequila sunset.  

right down to the last drop.