I am not sure why I took a break.
I am not even sure what I took a break from, or what I did on my 'break'.
but I definitely was gone a bit.
spring and summer were busy and we loved it.
retirement was confusing but enjoyable.
September was more painful, for sure.
September actually hurt.
my brother in law moved in with us, which was rough on everyone.
he didn't want to be here, we preferred our lives as they had been,
but he needed help and we all knew it.
my brother and his wife decided to move away, far away...
all the way from their maine/cape cod homes in the northeast USA to southern California.
it's good for them but sad for me...
they were a big part of our cape cod lifestyle
and we missed them long before they actually left.
it was a lonely time.
I have a hard time looking at the pictures I took because I was so profoundly lonely.
but October has been better.
my brother in law has found some housing back in NY where he wants to live.
my brother has moved on but I have traded sadness for gratitude.
I am lucky to have had a few years of hanging out together at the cape;
it's more than I would have had, if we hadn't bought a house at the cape too.
so my heart is healing.
joey and I have been able to spend some time enjoying autumn together.
we lost us-time in September and it felt like we lost everything.
but as leaves fall and the outside world changes,
so does our inside world.
and we will find a beauty in the new season too,
as long as we're together...