Sunday, March 7, 2010

my mother's smile

she was diagnosed with incurable cancer on march 5 2008 and our family was changed forever on that day. she lost the fight on november 13, 2008 but we lost much of her on that early spring day.
when i published my very first blog this week, i wanted to tell her so i could see her big, bright, shining smile - the one she gave each one of us when she was proud. nothing ever seemed real until she knew about it. so not being able to tell her i had taken what felt like such a big step was taking some of the excitement out of the moment. i closed the computer and jumped in the shower, hoping she knew somehow. before i headed out to work, i thought i would google myself and see if it took me to my new blog. as i was scanning the list of options, i found my name but it wasn't my blog, it was a stranger's. confused, i clicked on it and there on the screen was a poem i had written 30 years earlier. it had been published in two books and my mother had kept both of those books in a place of honor in her home. the poem had not been published again in all those years and i have no idea how the stranger had found it. but i do know that my mother showed it to me on google that day. i felt like she had smiled that big bright smile right in my face by showing me that poem. and i will treasure the contact from the other side, knowing my mother is proud. i love you, mommy and miss you terribly. stay in touch :)


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  2. MARIE GRADY PALCIC, are you an angel??

    you posted your comment to one of my old blog posts about grief. and at the precise moment you were posting your comment, i was here struggling with my own post about still missing my mother on this, the six month anniversary of my her death.

    like you, this whole serendipitous incident makes me wonder if my mom is with me still. i thank you for your part in that.

    this piece about your mother touched my heart. she would indeed be so proud of you. i, too, am proud - to be your first follower! good luck with your blog.

  3. such a lovely way to start the day! i went to your blog first, before my own and loved what you wrote about your mother. i know the feelings and smiled thru tears as i read what you'd written. my twin sister was on the phone and i read it out loud to her and we both cried - for you, for us, and for 2 moms.

    then i went to my blog to reread my thoughts from last night and got your comment. thank you so much for being my first follower and for your words. both meant a great deal and i felt the touch of an angel in them. serendipity is more than a word, and the timing is unbelievable. thank you.