looking back...

for years, i volunteered at a cat shelter in Connecticut. 

i spent hours at the place each week, feeding the cats,

cleaning floors, scooping litter, cuddling with homeless cats...

 

the amount of work that goes into running a shelter is endless,

the constant need is mind-numbing, and there is never enough money. 

however, the volunteers get the job done - here in Connecticut and all across the country. 

if ever an animal rescue organization needs help, i do whatever i can to provide whatever i can -

the need is huge.

 

i worked for 8 yrs at this shelter and it was extremely rewarding. 

i now have eleven inside cats, all rescues

and three cats that we feed on our decks whenever they show up...

 

in an effort to shine more light on a never-ending need,

i put together a calendar of some of the images i had shot at the shelter. 

this is for sale on my etsy shop (see link in right sidebar or click HERE)

and all proceeds will be donated to the cat shelter in hopes of saving many more homeless cats.

 

here are some images of the cats i knew at the shelter.

some had a home and lost it.

some never had a home.

some are feral and the shelter will be only home they ever know,

and they are the lucky ones. they will be warm and fed and cared for...

 

please help all homeless animals whenever you can.

thank you.

 

fragile but strong

 

last week, the announcement was made at work that i am retiring after 34 years.

the place that i grew up, the co-workers who became friends and family, the hard lessons learned, the many gifts received...

i was walking away, but leaving behind a lot of my life, my identity, my world.

but when it's not easy to go but even harder to stay, you know it's time.

as word got out, and it became more real,

i could feel the weight lifting off my shoulders.

my smile felt more sincere, my voice was sounding happier. i could hear it :)

 

then, on monday, joey's job unexpectedly came to an end.

he had been there 15 years and this was a way of life, an identity, for him too.

omg OMFG.

every plan that we had painstakingly put in place fell apart.

it was funny at first - how weird that the timing happened this way, chuckle chuckle

then we started envisioning how april -may, june, july etc- would go,

and we both got really scared. and really sad.

this truly was not our plan.

omg

OMFG

 

 

how could we do this? 

this meant we'd have to get health insurance?

we'd be selling the condo and moving to the cape?

what would we do together all day?

should i pull back the retirement, stay where there's security, an income, health insurance, a continuity of our current lifestyle, a daily routine...?

i think we both aged in the 24 hours that followed the announcement that his place of business was closing. 

he has a month from today until d-day.

i have until march 30. it is crazy.

 

 

we talked and we hugged. and slept. and thought.

and we cried a lot.  

and ultimately we made a new decision.

 

we are going to embrace this new world we've found ourselves in as a gift.

for the first time in the 33 yrs that we've lived together,

we will be unbound to 9-5 commitments.

we will need to find new routines. that's a good thing.

we may have less money to spend, but that too can be a good thing.

we never thought we'd be lucky enough to get to retire together.

many people don't get that option in life.

the plan we put together so meticulously didnt hold up long enough for me to even get to the first day of retirement. 

so, there's no plan this go-round.

this time, we just hold hands, and step off the edge, together.

 

fragile

but strong.

 

 

 

 

 

yellow boy saga...

we, like the rest of the northeast, spent a chunk of last weekend cleaning up after hurricane sandy.  as we did that, we kept an eye out for the little yellow cat that we spotted more than a few times since Sandy blew through.

 

we fed him night and day, worried night and day, as well.

there was another bad storm heading our way this past wednesday and both joey and i wanted this little boy safe and sound for the storm.

so tuesday morning,

i took the serious step of setting the trap. 

i always hate doing this because.

first, it really scares the animal and this guy was already very skittish. 

and second, if it works, what am i going to do with this guy if he gets into the trap?

 

but the concern about his well-being,

and our ability to weather the worry, won out.

and the trap was set.

 

less than 15 minutes later, he was caught! 

 

i brought the squirming hissing ball of yellow fur upstairs to the 'rescue safety zone' - the office bathroom. i foolishly opened the trap to let him out before i removed the stuff fom the counters and shelves. next thing i knew, the yellow boy was jumping 8 ft in the air, like a maniac, trying to find a way out.  he was leaping up the wall, across the room, hanging from the molding and the lip of the mirror. it was a freaking circus. toothbrushes, handsoap, candles, clock - all were flying around the room with the flying wallenda brother in the bathroom. OMG

 

over the next few hours, i checked on him several times, and could see he was adjusting a little better to his new surroundings. i had put a carrier, litter box and soft pillow along with food in there to ease his adjustment, and tried to leave him alone.  he ate the food, piddled on the pillow, and finally hid in the carrier.

but the acrobatics had ended.

 

 

three days later -

he is still in the bathroom, safe and warm.

the snowstorm did its damage, but thankfully, not to the little yellow boy.

what we do with him now is still an unknown. 

but he lets me come in and sit with him.

i sing (very badly) songs to him which he seems to enjoy :) 

his favorite seems to be 'away in a manger'...i think the words speak to his personal story, and his years of laying his sweet head in the hay.  but i could be imagining that.

 we are going to have to figure out

what the longterm plan is for yella fella,

but for now the next step is to attempt to touch him.  

AND for us both, yella boy and me,  to live through the attempt.

wish us luck

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



a risk and a change. . .

today, the challenge for the beyond layers class, was to think about times when you took a risk, stepped out of your comfort zone and found something BIG.

the risk that truly changed my life is going to seem little to most people. but it was BIG to marilyn (my twin sister) and i. 

when we turned 43 yrs old, we decided that it was finally time to take that road trip to florida that we had planned to do the summer after graduation. our goal was to have adventures from start to finish, driving as far south as we could and doing whatever felt right.

and that is exactly what we did.  from almost getting arrested at bruce springsteen's house on day 1, to being in washington dc when the monica lewinsky story broke, to seeing the sunrise and sunset up and down the east coast - it was filled with moments that make memories that are treasured for a lifetime. it was 10 days of heaven and it was our introduction to a place that for us is heaven on earth...key west.

sunset at mallory square

by the time we got to the florida keys, we were as relaxed as we'd ever been.  there were no cell phones back then.  there were no husbands telling us what to do, no jobs pulling at us, no schedules to keep, no pets to feed or children to care for.  it was three and a half days down to marathon and we were so freaking happy in that car every mile of the way there.  on the other hand, getting out of the car and going into a bar for a drink at our hotel was very stressful.  we felt totally out of place.  many times, we would abort.  most times, even.  we talked about it, wondered what our problem was - shyness? insecurity? awkward? all of the above?  after a lot of discussion, we figured out that the problem really was fear.  fear of feeling or looking like a socially inept person.  and the fear fed the reality.  we probably actually were awkward, insecure, shy and socially inept.  yikes.

so we made a pact somewhere in northern florida that we were going to address the issue, one bar at a time.  restaurants didn't throw us off, it was the nightlife atmosphere where we felt so vulnerable - it was all about social interaction with strangers in a meet/greet setting.   (the meet/eat settings were fine)  our first few attempts were not successful but we were learning little tips/tricks as we went - for example, don't take the first empty table so you can sit down and scan the room from a safe spot.  instead, stand there, look around for the spot that will give you the best view of the place and then sit.  sounds silly but it was big when it came to increasing our comfort level. 

sidewalk at the green parrot

by the time we got to key west, we had some success under our belt.  but key west is a town with a nightlife atmosphere 24 hrs a day.  we didn't know this.  our hotel was in marathon and we drove to key west for the first time on martin luther king day.  we didn't know much about the town at all, and didn't have a clue where to go.  we found a parking space and needed to get our bearings, so we decided to get a drink and re-group. 

there on the corner was a sleepy little island bar called the Green Parrot.  it had no windows, and was open to the beautiful january sunshine and looked perfect.  we braced ourselves for the onslaught of nervousness, picked 2 seats at the bar and ordered our drinks.  it was the start of a long love affair with a local hangout that is the epitomy of acceptance.

we have been there countless times since that day, and learned a whole lot of life lessons sitting on the stools with a beer and time to ponder.  the beauty of the Green Parrot is that anything goes.  the locals hang out with the tourists.  the tourists run the gamut from cool to gawky.  the locals are fascinating.  the servers are efficient.   the location is key west where the weather in january is awesome compared to the northeast.   the music is outstanding.  and they welcome everyone.  and they have a rule - no sniveling :)

our goal has to been to write a book together, titled The Lessons of the Green Parrot.  we've gone there to do research on more than one occasion and have gotten as far as listing out the lessons.  each lesson has multiple stories, lived by us and learned by us, that have changed our lives for the better.  we face things with not only some tips/tricks (which does help) but also with much more self confidence.  and we thank the Green Parrot - in person and in spirit -  for accepting us for what we were - 43 yr old wusses, searching for both acceptance and adventure.   we've come a long way on our search, and we believe it all came together on a martin luther king day, back in 1998. 

The Lessons of the Green Parrot
learned and lived by marilyn and marie :)

1 - Don't wait for perfect - embrace good enough
2 - Don't be afraid to look like a fool - nobody cares
3 - Don't miss the journey - seize each moment
4 - Don't jump to conclusions - it's not always what it seems
5 - Don't make it so complicated - relax, enjoy...
6 - Don't sit when you can dance - get up and get out there!
7 - Don't give it up for a party - enjoy today, but remember tomorrow
8 - Don't see with someone else's eyes - look for your own approval
9 - Don't live a false life - love what you do, do what you love. if other's can, you can too.
10 -Don't miss the lessons - always grow, always stretch. and no sniveling :)

fragile beauty...

back in late October, we got clobbered with 14 inches of snow.

because the trees still had leaves, the weight of the snow was devastating...

four months later, there are still broken trees everywhere you look.

i'm worried that this very strange winter is going to take a second toll on the damaged trees -

they're looking like they think it's late march, not mid-february and they're starting to show buds...

the magnolia tree in our front yard took a major hit and lost multiple branches.

it doesn't have a beautiful shape anymore, it's lopsided and funky...

and yet,

the little tree makes my heart smile :)

there she is, showing us all what true beauty and strength looks like.

as she bravely puts forth her buds,
i can hear her say...
"i am stronger than you think"

she gives me

hope,

strength

and faith...

i love this little lady

enhanced with kim klassen's shine texture