simplify . .

for a retired girl, i have been way busier than i thought i'd be, this 2 0 1 4

but it has been a productive time, so i am going to cling to the glass-half-full mindset.

the condo is on the market, 

all the cats have settled in to the cape house, 

i am making huge progress on the preparations for the HyArt Artist Shanties

 (http://hyartsdistrict.com/visual-arts/art-shanties )

that i'm doing in june, 

and the gardens in both houses have been worked on (a little bit, at least).

i keep taking pictures, posting on facebook and for the word-of-the-day photo hunt challenge.  

but the blog, my flickr and housecleaning all keep falling off the to-do list.

i hope to S I M P L I F Y this summer.

until then, i added another to-do for my list - 

i started taking a class from Kim Klassen (http://www.kimklassencafe.com/) 

called Be Still and i am very excited about it.  

i know that the first few weeks will be hectic, but the class is for a full year so i will catch up.  

i am longing for the feeling of Be Still.  

and i know i will learn a lot of things, and be inspired. 

it is going to be exactly what i need...

 

meantime May/June will be a little bit crazy.  

i am multi-tasking.  

my head is muddled. 

but a word-of-the-day was CUP this week and i am going with the 

half-full glass mindset 

as i simplify.

so with no textures, no enhancements at all -

here is a simple half full cup.

which i totally love.

be still my heart :)

texture tuesday

 

something about this - no wait, EVERYTHING about this -

pleases me :)

 

enhanced lightly with at least one of Kim Klassen's textures

can't remember which one(s) but it added a painterly feel, just perfectly :)

fragile but strong

 

last week, the announcement was made at work that i am retiring after 34 years.

the place that i grew up, the co-workers who became friends and family, the hard lessons learned, the many gifts received...

i was walking away, but leaving behind a lot of my life, my identity, my world.

but when it's not easy to go but even harder to stay, you know it's time.

as word got out, and it became more real,

i could feel the weight lifting off my shoulders.

my smile felt more sincere, my voice was sounding happier. i could hear it :)

 

then, on monday, joey's job unexpectedly came to an end.

he had been there 15 years and this was a way of life, an identity, for him too.

omg OMFG.

every plan that we had painstakingly put in place fell apart.

it was funny at first - how weird that the timing happened this way, chuckle chuckle

then we started envisioning how april -may, june, july etc- would go,

and we both got really scared. and really sad.

this truly was not our plan.

omg

OMFG

 

 

how could we do this? 

this meant we'd have to get health insurance?

we'd be selling the condo and moving to the cape?

what would we do together all day?

should i pull back the retirement, stay where there's security, an income, health insurance, a continuity of our current lifestyle, a daily routine...?

i think we both aged in the 24 hours that followed the announcement that his place of business was closing. 

he has a month from today until d-day.

i have until march 30. it is crazy.

 

 

we talked and we hugged. and slept. and thought.

and we cried a lot.  

and ultimately we made a new decision.

 

we are going to embrace this new world we've found ourselves in as a gift.

for the first time in the 33 yrs that we've lived together,

we will be unbound to 9-5 commitments.

we will need to find new routines. that's a good thing.

we may have less money to spend, but that too can be a good thing.

we never thought we'd be lucky enough to get to retire together.

many people don't get that option in life.

the plan we put together so meticulously didnt hold up long enough for me to even get to the first day of retirement. 

so, there's no plan this go-round.

this time, we just hold hands, and step off the edge, together.

 

fragile

but strong.

 

 

 

 

 

snow birds...

a ride to the river, no matter what time of year, is a slice of heaven...

but when the snow changes the background to a simple white

and the birds are willing to gather close, hoping for some snacks,

it is a bird stalker's paradise...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

a note to self...

dear self,

you are going down that old familiar late-october path

to peak season hell in the portrait studio. 

you have gritted your teeth into pieces, literally. 

your head feels like it is swollen from too much activity. 

your back is already crippling you and its only mid-october.

your driving foot is in spasms and your stomach is joining your driving foot

in the dance of the stressed-out district manager body parts.

you are closing in on 60,

and your parts should not be put through this kind of pressure. 

they won't make it thru to the other side

without telltale signs of what you're doing to yourself. 

but because you're older,
you know more than you used to.
and that is adding even more stress.
this is the 33rd peak season
you've gone thru and you do know
what it takes to make it better. 
THAT is what is stressing you out.
let it go. 
look for sweet smiles, look for good stuff and look away from the stuff
that amps up the impulse to
fix-fix-fix before it's too late. 
there is no fix that can hold up totally, there is no fix that will make it all okay for everybody. 
let them learn their lessons, let them apply lessons from other years, & let the f#@k go.  got it?

now, today, this week...what will make that difference? 

more wandering, less conference calls? 

more conference calls, less wandering? 

 i am thinking less wandering and less conference calls. 

its time for a work-life balance readjustment. 

and today is the day. 

sweet sisters of stone...

i am in love with statues that i find in cemeteries...

 

 

 

 

i see vulnerability and strength...sweetness and sadness...

every time i find one,

i wonder about who they represent,

and about the  family

who's loss is soothed by these beautiful statues...

 

To the sweet sisters of stone -

may you always stand strong,

and may you forever rest in peace...

 

each image has been enhanced with kim klassen's textures



a gray day...

everywhere i looked,

there were different shades of gray...

i think i counted 50 shades :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

sidenote - oddly enough, on the day that the photo challenge was 'something gray,'

the world cooperated with a gray day. 

i decided to stop at a cemetery after shooting at Gray's Beach on the cape

and see if i could get gray headstones. 

i took a bunch of pics and spooked myself -

not the best idea since i am here alone at the cape -

but when i went home and uploaded the images,

i realized that this headstone was honoring a woman named Rebecca Gray. 

 

so on this day, 10/2/12, almost 150 yrs after she died,

on 'something gray' day,

i too honor Rebecca Gray  :)

and another odd thing - i JUST realized that the texture i used to enhance the gravestone shot was kim klassen's 'partings'   it all comes together sometimes, doesn't it :)



summer's end...

where did the summer go?

 

i am sad,

as always,

to see it end. 

 

but i am going after fall

with a sense of urgency

to enjoy and appreciate every minute of it.

 

you might want to stay out of the way of all that :)

picture info - Truro, Cape Cod
                      enhanced with Kim Klassen's textures - jay, canvasback, ToBe, and her brush

change...

wednesday's word for beyond layers was change...

for a girl who is looking for a change, the word was perfect :)

a favorite saying, a great texture from kim and a simple daisy...

hoping that combo helps the message

makes a lasting change in my life.

triplets...

this week, the beyond layers challenge was to create one image, three different ways. 
this fed my indecisiveness and probably wasn't good for me :)
eight images later, i struggled with narrowing it down to three.

if not NOW, then when...

on monday, kim's challenge for the beyond layers class was to work on reducing procrastination,

 not only in the artistic side of life but in every other aspect also.  

all week, i thought i embraced the thought thoroughly.

i DID instead of planning on doing.

i shot the 'word of the day' on photo hunt on facebook every day. and i posted them. 

i got a lot done at work that i'd been putting off, including my expense report (!). 

i even took a walk one morning,

instead of depending on pacing when on the phone to get my exercise. 

i was feeling pretty confident that i had put aside procrastinating for the week, at least...

on friday night, i was determined to continue to GET THINGS DONE. 

the photo challenge for the B/L class was 'pastels'.

and the word of the day on fbk was 'simple'. 

in my quest to get things done, i was going to do a simple pastel :) 

multi-tasking was the deal.

i went and bought some flowers, pulled out an antique vase

and set up the picture in the setting sun at the back door. 

the sun was fading fast and timing was critical,

if i was going to get the shot i had planned in my head. 

but pony had a different plan.  

he wanted to participate. 

no amount of holding him with one hand, shooting with the other hand, was going to work. 

he wanted to smell the flowers. 

finally, i had to let him, just to get it over with. 

and there was the shot i needed.

but bigger than that was the lesson that i needed...

i was on a mission to do, do, DO...

it took kim's message of 'if not NOW, then when?'

combined with pony's insistence on 'stop to smell the flowers' to get through to me. 

sometimes it is time to stop.

sometimes doing isn't everything. 

because sometimes its about appreciation, not action.  

life happens in those moments and it's oh-so-easy to miss them...

appreciating the simple pleasures is what gives a life the sweet moments of joy,

and we all (even pony) need some joy right about now
because...

if not now, then when???

picture enhanced with NOW texture from kim klassen, along with multiple adjustment layers

and a framed effect

coming undone...

today i am taking back my life. 

i have been running straight out, no let-up, for the last few weeks.   actually its been a few months. i don't like living this way - i wake up in the morning (and in the middle of the night), wondering what i didn't get done. and wondering how to get it all done, how to catch up, so i can stop feeling this way...
i am exhausted.

work has been frenzied and that always turns me into a workaholic.  and the work is never done so the feeling of accomplishment is only a dream.  it hangs in front of me, keeping me striving, but i never reach the finish line.  as soon as i close in on it, it moves.

so at some point on friday afternoon, when i felt myself trying to drive fast enough to go back in time and was oh-so-close to tears, i reached a BIG low point. despite all my efforts, all my multi-tasking, i was still not catching up.  earlier, i had taken a conference call on speaker phone on mute while taking a shower in an effort to get it all done.  i'd worked almost 60 hrs and still missed a deadline.  there just was not enough time in the day to get it all done.

and that was exactly what i needed to remember.  there simply was not enough time to do it all.
i hadn't failed to figure out how to get it all done; there was too much to do.  it didn't mean i had to take a shower while listening to 11 people on the phone.  it meant i need to cut down on my To-Do list. it meant i needed to make different choices.  i needed to run my life instead of letting my life run me...

and i needed to accept that it wasn't all going to get done. 

this morning at 5am i woke up.  i felt the whirlwind starting in my head... ok, what's the list of things to do this morning blahblahblah. 
and all of a sudden, i sat straight up and said bullshit. 
this is not the way TODAY is going to go.
i am going to relax.  i am going to enjoy myself.
the feeling of control likely won't last but for this moment, i am drawing a line right here this saturday morning. 

and for this moment, i am choosing to let go of the endless list and just stop. 
what isn't done is going to stay that way.

today, i am coming U N D O N E ...  :)

a light heart...

when i brought my plants inside last fall, hoping to keep them alive over the winter,

i knocked a piece off my begonia...

i stuck it in a bottle of water and forgot about it.

last week, just in time for Valentine's Day,

the broken piece had a tiny fragile bloom...

enhanced with kim klassen's 'awaken' texture

morning light...

keeping it simple...

enhanced with kim klassen's 'simplicity' texture

for texture tuesday

while i wait...

in october, i dropped off my favorite nikon lens to get fixed.

 i have missed it terribly.

three months later, it still isn't back.  

they have been 'waiting for parts' all this time. 

apparently, the tsunami in japan impacted manufacturing...

over the past 3 months, i have been lost without my lens.  i felt blind, like i lost my vision...

sometimes i got angry at nikon.

then i would remind myself of the true losses from the tsunami -

 loss of life,of homes, of memories,

of the past, of the future -

and i would find my patience, regain my compassion, stop whining about my lens...

this weekend, i reached a decision...

nikon needs my support :)

so i went and bought another lens.

not only is this my show of support for nikon -

i will not let you down, i cannot switch brands, i apparently love you -

it also is a gift to me...

i was able to see again.

the first picture with my new 55mm-300mm lens...

it's not my 70mm-300mm, but it will hold me over while i wait...

keep it simple...

simple beauty in an unexpected place...

found this very cool tree in the drive-thru

at mcdonalds today :)

enhanced lightly with kim klassens 'awaken' texture

this little light of mine...

my goals for this year...
 - light a light
 - keep it simple
 - see the beauty in the moment

Texture Tuesday with kim klassen's Friday texture, at 100% on soft light...